June 11, 2014

Life as a Roller Coaster

That's how I would describe how life has been like to me as of lately. It's been yet it still is so hard to me to tell my deepest thoughts, emotions and secrets but I'll try my best as I write this blog post. . .

Life hasn't been mean at all, in fact it's been 'good' so far, so I'm not going to complain about it. What has got me really down and uninspired is all the things I've found throughout this whole first semester at University. I  have come to a point where I don’t know if this is what I want to do the rest of my life, because I have found so many weaknesses I didn't expected to but I was concerned about them already, like I don't how to draw, it takes me time to do it based on a X-Y information, etc. I want to try my best today onward and make my weaknesses be my strengths, try to improve every day and keep a positive vibe. But the truth is, I've felt like I just want to quit everything, but then again this thought comes to my mind 'if I quit now, what I'm supposed to do then?'.

In almost 6 months I have thought thousands of times about giving up and dropping out of school at some point and pursue my photography path as a career and make a living out of it and keep writing my blog and see where both take me to but then the thought mentioned above pops up on my mind again. And I know it might sound like that’s not a real 'career', you name it, but this is what I enjoy doing the most. I love writing and taking pictures. Sometimes I also feel lost and unsure if what I'm doing is either right or not. I get bored and tired of things so easily, I get frustrated, desperate and start driving myself crazy with no reason, and that's only for a short while.

I've been dealing with this since the very first day I started University, and there are days where I might just get down, uninspired and sometimes not even in the mood of going to University. That's why life's been like a roller coaster to me, not only changing moods every five minutes, but situations like these have made me feel sometimes 'positive' and others just 'negative', so yes, it has had its ups and downs. 

Lately nothing feels quite right and this not only has affected me myself as a person, but also my writing on this blog as well as in any other social media sites, although sometimes is good to take a 'break', and I'm really sorry for this huge absence. Also, as I've always said, I never write a blog post because I feel like it's an obligation, no, I do it nowadays any time I can when I'm free, and while I write, I get so inspired because I do it with all my love and a huge smile is always behind all these lines and also because I think my posts (and sometimes thoughts) deserve to be read by you! As I said, it's hard for me to tell my deepest thoughts, I don't show up this by speaking because it gets worse and I don't like talking about them, instead  I'm good at writing and it's through this that I can say a lot about me, I express my feelings through it. More honest I can't be.

All the while, I'm still trying to hang in there by taking a look to wisdom words pictures I've stumbled upon on Pinterest and I've saved them on my phone, just to have a little reminder and continue doing what I'm doing by trying to put all my love and effort on it and I know all of that will be paid off someday. I never thought life would turn out like this but I know all of these 'experiences' want to tell me something, and I know a brand new life-lesson will be learnt.

For more you can follow me on facebooktwitter, and instagram! See you soon! XO Melissa.

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