How Self-Portraits Helped Me Improve My Self Confidence

This post should’ve been a different one, but as I started reflecting on some things and achievements and everything that has happened this year, I felt like it deserved a proper post a well. Not to mention my birthday is today and somewhat I felt this was part of my 22 – but also of the 23 years I’m turning today. So, what it was supposed to be a part of my jewelry series ft my latest yet biggest obsession, aka earrings, has turned out into something quite different and something I want to be open and want to talk about.

I’ve been blogging since 2011, I’ve never showed pictures of me in here, (you can check all my posts and see I rarely make an appearance) and on instagram I rather post photos of things that inspire me and places I’ve been to but never or rarely pictures of me. No, I’m not ugly but I also never considered myself SO “photogenic” somehow in my vacations between June and July, I found myself locked in my own room for days, trying to find my creativity and creating my own kind of photography studio to improve my photography skills. One day I’d got my hair done and I think it was the same day at night I’d gotten home back from church, I still had make up on and my hair was still ok and this shoot happened without it being actually planned.

I started edit them the next day and I loved the results, and it was there at that moment when I was like “Oh, I’m pretty, I look so darn good and I didn’t know I was this photogenic”, to be honest sometimes it’s even hard to even believe it, at least in my case. Maybe It’s not something I’m used to see or hear from someone else, not even me. Because yes, as a girl, I also have been there where I have wondered whether I’m pretty or not, and if I’m told that (mostly by my mom, thanks mom) I still doubt it.

I’ve taken a new step and it’s to be more in front of the camera rather than behind it, little by little I’ve found this is something good for me and my soul and it’s something I try to do from time to time. And these photos from this post were for one of my midterm exams, and somehow it was this shoot that helped me find out that, I look pretty and I’m pretty and somehow this also made me realize this "photo-therapy" has helped me gain so much CONFIDENCE, the confidence I didn’t have nor built years ago but slowly I have these last few months. So,

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HOW DID SELF-PORTRAITURE HELP ME?

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Self portrait in photography consists of taking pictures of yourself, most photographers practice with themselves before they start taking portraits of someone else, so you get the idea of how to tell them how to pose and all of that and learn how to be patient, and this is all according articles I've read from photographers as well as that photography course I took last semester and the things I learned.

As I've been experimenting with it, I've tried to play with it to know what my good angles are but also trying to be serious, no smiles, trying to show different facets of me, little did I know there was a model inside of me that was hidden, because seriously these photos are and have never been planned. Seeing myself after looking photo by photo, I learned how to love myself will all of my imperfections that to me I’ve realized they are perfectly natural and my kind of beauty and no one will tell me otherwise and also I've learned to appreciate more the way I look.

FYI, this photo was a self-portrait, taken by me, no self-timer used nor even a tripod just me holding the camera with my other arm, hard to believe and manage to do it but not impossible and no, I do not Photoshop myself and will never do and I still can see that zit on my face and that scar on my eyebrow from many years ago why would I even hide it plus I'm mostly wearing a high ponytail. This is me and I look like this most of the time whether it's with makeup on or not.

I want to conclude with a little something and it's that you shouldn't care about someone's opinion unless it has a positive impact in your life and they really care about you, you should STOP comparing yourself with others, there's this thing we humans have and it is the I wish, and NO, you don't wish or need that, you're perfectly okay with whom you are and have right now. It's things like these that make our confidence go down because of comparison and so many other things too, if you're a girl, woman, guy or men, you're beautiful and perfect, what most makes us beautiful is not our physical appearance but how we are deep inside of us is what comes out and make us glow.

The majority of the time we are also told how we should be and look like, follow some sort of like a patron to be "the same" kinda feeling and being like clones and it honestly shouldn't be like that, we are the ones who decide who we are and aspire to be, even though I feel that's kind of changing. I tell you all of this, because I've been there as well, where I used to compare myself and wish I had certain things in my life, where I thought I wasn't pretty enough. So, with this post, I hope you learn to love yourself first, because first love starts with it. Nobody knows what we've been through and they're no one to judge us first nor do they know our story.

It took me years to appreciate and learn this but I'm glad I'm welcoming my 23 with this and couldn't ask for a better birthday present. It's things like this that I appreciate and feel grateful for.  I simply wanted to share it and look back at it when feeling I'm lacking of self-confidence but I hope that won't happen. Happy birthday to me, and happy weekend to y'all! I love you all loads! 

Until next time! xx