A Letter to 2022

I can't believe I am here writing this post once again, it feels like it was just - not yesterday - but maybe a couple of months ago I did clicked on the 'publish' button for 'A Letter to 2021' post. 

I have got to say 2022 has been all in all a little bit of everything. Looking back at exactly a year ago today, I was really not in a good place if I say so myself, I mean, after the loss of two of my beloved ones, it was hard for me to recover from that shock as well as get back to my normal self and life. I mainly focused a lot on working on myself, letting go of so many things as well as overthinking about others in general. Some months I felt good, others there were moments I felt sad, filled with so many doubts and yes, mostly not sad but mixed feelings and emotions that it's even hard for me to tell where this was all coming from or tell how exactly I was feeling. 

I learned a lot about friendships, and there was just a plot twist to that story but I guess it was a great lesson indeed, did i make my own conclusions? I really do not know it but one thing I do know is, what we all already know, people come and go from our lives, and I once read a quote or something that said "there are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime" and which I do agree, a hundred percent. I also learned not to depend 'emotionally' on said friendships. I learned to give them space when they need it, we all need that, and that does not affect me in any way, not anymore. So, in that aspect, I have grown and learned a lot and beyond thankful for it and also for the few people I still have around me. I don't have to talk to them too often to know they're there or that I'm also there for them. :') 

I have kept enjoying every single second spent with my family, I really am thankful for each one of them all. I have been so happy lately too or at least try to smile as much as I can now. Because I felt miserable, having those mixed feelings, constantly sad, it was all taking a toll on me and let's be honest, it's not good nor healthy. But thank God and only Him that I feel somehow a lot better. It's crazy yet beautiful how simple things even the smallest ones can make me smile, can make me feel happy. Life has been so good lately, and whatever that happened this year or made me feel sad, worried, etc. does not matter, it only reduces to these few weeks of pure joy and happiness, nothing else matters. It's also like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders too. I do hope it will always be like this. :')

On the other hand, this week I've been feeling way too emotional and nostalgic, there's still that huge void in my heart that has not been filled yet, days like today, simply reminds me of grandma. Today would of have been her bday, and it's just another day/year without her. I try my best to cherish all the beautiful moments and memories I have of her, but still, it feels all not so believable, recent yet bittersweet at the same time. I've been crying pretty much a lot the past few days and even today, I have had my moment where I've simply broken into tears. It's inevitable, I can't hold back those tears but at the same time it does feels relieving doing so. 

Despite this all, I'm thankful for this year and how it went. For all the good and not so good. Thankful for absolutely every single thing that happened these 365 days. For letting me be surrounded by my loved ones, still being able to open up my eyes, and just be healthy and alive. I know some things didn't happen nor were accomplished but will strive to keep on working on those. I have nothing but hopes for the new year, the promise of new beginnings and that somehow at some point the best is yet to come. 

To my lovely readers, followers, thank you for being here, for still reading me and my blog even though I have not been as active as I used to. I hope this new year is filled with some many beautiful things for each one of you! 

All the best! *Cheers* 

xx

Melissa